Life is amorphous. For some, it ends before it truly begins, for others, it ends far beyond it's meaningful journey has concluded. Yet, for everyone, life is a non-consensual affliction that we must reconcile with our own feelings and consciousness.
I have wondered what the purpose of consciousness is since before I knew what being aware was. I knew that I never asked to exist, yet here I am. Life is not something you are provided the opportunity to grant concent towards, but you are forced to exist as a conscious being, inhabiting a form that traverses within the limited space that human beings currently occupy. Life is a disease and the only cure is something we will all experience.
I attempted suicide on September 8th of this year. I purchased a cylinder of nitrogen and constructed an 'exit bag.' I was, and am, prepared to peacefully exit this life. However, in my exit, I did inform a dear friend of mine, Bonita Castro (don't research her name, there are over a thousand individuals who share her designation), that I was leaving that night. She contactated my father and he located me. I was forced to continue my existence.
The local authorities then entered my house and questioned me about my intent. I knew enough about what they could and could not do to push them away without detaining me for a second period of non-consensual detention.
I plan to end my life, however, I will instead of messaging loved ones, will write my wishes here. December 1, 2023, I will end my life. My wishes will be posted here and hopefully my loved ones will find them.
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